Over the past week I have been contemplating the energy of what it means to be successful, how to accept where we are in any given moment, and how this ties into feelings of worthiness and knowing you are enough.
I know I am not the only one facing this especially in a world where we are reminded on social media about everyone’s wins and how life seems to go so smoothly for some and not for others.
In this blog, I hope to shed some light on this topic and reframe things so you can know you are worthy, rekindle any dimming passion projects, and connect to that spark of creative potential that IS inside of you.
This post stemmed from being reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 20:16,
“So the last shall be first, and the first last...”
This verse highlights the importance of remembering that everyone has their place in experiencing achievement and success if they so choose.
It starts with first defining what success means to you!
For some it may mean buying a house and no longer facing homelessness.
For others it may be to raise a family.
For some it may be to achieve a healthy body weight and fitness level.
For others it may mean to start that business they always hoped for.
Whatever your definition of success is, you must get clear on what (ONE) goal you’d like to see play out. Write out this vision. And remember, you can always add new ones as you go. This is about a moving target: the journey – not the destination.
Once you have your definition of success for you in your life in this current moment, be sure to write it down in your journal or some place you can see it daily.
When you write down your vision, it becomes real.
Now I want to take us back to the bible verse and rewind to the beginning of that chapter in the book of Matthew. To summarize, Jesus is sharing a parable to his apostles about a landowner who hires workers to tend to his vineyard. The story goes like so:
Landowner wakes up early and gets workers to come tend the land for a full day’s pay. The workers happily get to work;
Throughout the day, the landowner goes and procures more workers at various intervals. These new workers join the force, yet the workload decreases in size as the day progresses;
At the end of the day, the landowner starts to hand out the wages, specifically choosing to start with the workers who were brought to work later in the day;
He pays all the workers the same amount of money;
The workers who were there from the beginning throw a fit because they think the pay is unfair and they believe they put in the most amount of work;
The landowner calls them out saying he can do what he wishes with his money.
Then in good Jesus style, Jesus mystifyingly adds the quote: “The last will be first and the first will be last.”
When I first contemplated this quote, I had the realization that we often think we need to be way further ahead than we are, when there is no specific end goal to be achieved.
Again there is no real destination – an end destination is an illusion – we just keep evolving and expanding, reaching infinite possibilities.
I can tell you this from personal experience: When I began the YouTube channel, my main goal was to make YouTube Partner, meaning I had to reach 4,000 watch hours and 1,000 subscribers within a year. For months I was focused on this vision of ‘success’ that was the YouTube Partnership Program.
Then one day I finally hit it!
I was over the moon!
And then, in a few days the excitement faded and I was on to the next chase: “But the video view count is not high enough! It needs to be higher!”
Thus began the cycle again of wanting to achieve something new.
(so many pieces to this, including not chasing for external validation, etc. but I digress).
The message to bring home:
You are exactly where you need to be. You can never miss out on an opportunity. Just like those workers who were hired at the end of the day, you will get ‘paid’ what it is you are meant to receive.
And if you missed it, the Landowner in the parable is meant to be God/Spirit/The Divine who is calling out to all of us to come and hang out and be a part of the evolution of humanity in our own unique way. God / the Landowner wants to gift to you that which is owed you NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME OR ENERGY YOU’VE COMMITTED THUS FAR.
So Now what?
You have written down a goal or two (or three) that you have identified as your success – aka the thing you wish to do/be/experience in this life as a contribution to this evolution of humanity, “Now what?” you may be asking.
The next step is to relinquish the need to be any place other than where/who you are.
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up when we feel we should be someplace else or that we do not think we are trying ‘hard’ enough. Personally, I get this feeling if I doom scroll on Instagram – I come across so many posts of people DOING things and I get overwhelmed with my ‘lack’ of doing.
To stop comparing, I stop scrolling and connect to pleasure in a new way. Whether I watch an episode of the Office (my favorite comedy show), go for a walk in the ravine, or talk to my partner about how I’m going into a spiral of comparison. I do something that helps alleviate the tension and this in turn returns me to ME.
I have also started telling myself this simple phrase: “You are exactly where you are meant to be.”
And I let those words travel deep into my cells and to my inner child who is often the one feeling the need to prove something based on her previous childhood programs.
Want to deepen this process?
A technique I have been utilizing lately to deepen my acceptance of where I am, is to tell myself that this situation/place/scenario that I do not like is something really amazing and there’s a part of me that wants this chaotic imperfection, not good enough-ness, unworthiness to exist.
It is rather diabolical, but it excites me and…
I am learning to embrace all the things I have labeled as shitty.
I am learning to embrace the place of last = first.
I am learning to embrace me exactly as I am in all my witty, unnerved and lustfully serpentine ways.
Wherever you are on your journey, can you be willing to accept your position in the cueline of life and see it as part of the journey and a necessity for the vineyard that Spirit has called us all to tend to?
In time you will begin to realize that your firstness is your lastness and your lastness is your firstness…and some other nonsensical sh*t like that.
I’m here to lend a hand and listening ear if you want to shake any of these old patterns and begin living life with more juicy pleasure and acceptance of you!
You can schedule an empowerment session here: BOOK HERE and let's welcome a Big Juicy Yes into your life!
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